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1.局花6 u4 T8 K! d: I4 q ^7 t
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
) P/ [+ x6 p# f" Q! l4 J1 G心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
+ n0 @6 B: Z! _) ~7 Q) D小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
) C7 t( N) P1 j- C评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
2 d0 x+ l( c6 D' K+ o/ d/ q7 h2 a- [7 }. L7 E7 O8 k
2.媳妇
3 ~8 P% a' y5 d* t! V, F10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
) v. X; J& y8 D7 ^2 H0 S3 C他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”% s4 T: ]7 c5 [9 d2 w0 ^
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
) s+ u# W5 D5 p9 n评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
8 g1 |& B0 v4 O% R
! f* D9 k5 T# Z9 L! s, U" b+ n8 ~3.倒贴( x z3 q+ p5 y( Y1 G# G/ q7 }
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。4 d3 n9 d% x1 b2 _6 b% h. e' ~9 H' E
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。( \0 L3 z) G& v
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
" Z6 [2 L+ y8 f( W1 a老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”' j* B1 q7 o# S% C
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
% `. i& c1 s* z) Q“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”& D! @' g B" |, c; \7 R2 |
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊5 B7 F1 ?' g* S: k* ]8 R# o
9 O' Y5 r/ O3 @: t! Y7 O4.刺激: Q2 n0 J5 q4 a5 E$ h4 t3 Y4 t
今天我走在街上，
$ {8 ]" E- T/ w- Z1 l. M对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺9 ~4 ~. t+ C d* \; ~ j' p
，我心想完了。) C% x8 J' G( V0 F& N, L1 f
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。! y( _. R- l: }4 d) _
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
( h( h4 _4 F1 s# n( B7 ~7 a尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！/ T1 M) {8 t* Z" Z! d! o
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
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, B; P& Y1 K, w, x' _. k3 n5.不加倍" C( z' S: n$ x. j
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
$ U; @" N/ [& \+ I今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
$ d9 H! M% v+ B, {! V: I' M老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
; t/ O) z8 E, r$ }6 |9 l小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
- F4 h0 N" N( x7 i% S小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”6 C5 X! g! q9 O2 b9 i
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的' Z0 `$ T5 Z8 i$ L0 @$ _! d/ I
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