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1.局花
7 {% w% G: [0 e7 ]" G" m4 ?/ y局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，/ |7 z* N( d6 o. r+ }$ |" g& o
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
( Q1 s; a7 x- }& p6 F小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
) s5 F4 ?) `$ U9 M, X% L, v评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
: ]! n b) E+ X% I. n+ a* Y" K
. q5 F3 s4 j3 _. S2.媳妇
: D* j0 y5 y/ H- X10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
0 J7 w; [, c! y$ ]他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& Q1 F, n" I( y3 _8 C
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
# o9 K$ E4 Z! T' e+ {评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺! k, i" v' e8 s3 m/ R
. b+ R- A3 ^1 `; M; m# c0 [- U3.倒贴( S% ~" x( S6 ]4 F, B
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
/ w. G0 @* J+ C8 L+ F, h1 D% h k# a于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。1 ^/ D! \0 I- U4 `
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
$ b u- n6 P! l/ }0 h; Z( [老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
$ d' g9 O4 A4 `( d话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
5 e1 M! D+ I& a3 {5 O8 S“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
S k1 d4 l$ p& {评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊4 Q O8 e2 S0 Z' D' n' y
2 O9 q8 ]! Q; y
4.刺激* F) ?9 t, w+ z* l9 ^
今天我走在街上，* I$ H; r; u; z
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺; K5 y4 i* X7 B1 x6 @
，我心想完了。8 }* r- \9 w# z1 `4 o
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
9 z/ C! s7 G1 G2 C% ~' V& I2 S“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
$ E- V: d( ?7 W' F# \# Z- R尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！# M$ t3 D v: ]+ n
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激* G, b+ v- m: `# Z( I" ^0 i7 b
5 ^6 R; V- ] N$ J J: y! Q5.不加倍0 i2 F+ G d5 _$ r( A7 S' _
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，; r2 R) X, v6 Z
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
5 k" G# X% w$ E% v9 N老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
7 k1 e X! s$ G$ J小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”3 |# H+ ~1 k/ K
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
3 v' J* F+ C0 o8 T2 h评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的2 y" m2 L# D' o$ r0 ?' M" [4 j0 Q
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