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1.局花) {2 I' V( t3 M
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，% {( h2 k. `# {7 {2 s
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，4 l) A6 s, } z4 ]* u) ` Q
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
8 ~9 E/ R+ c4 S% i9 Y/ |! z评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
( J) {! J4 s9 s( k" L1 K# T+ |9 n; F D7 ?
2.媳妇
( i" Y# Q' D+ A# n10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
) u, n6 k. C! k- p8 Y/ H2 M他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”( G9 X% A; }6 a) I0 S; ~& R
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
/ M6 o1 _& V, H2 Z. T评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
D2 B. J$ J, v
' B- }1 P( Q0 G4 d0 _) J3.倒贴
; c8 s' X; h9 Z9 v& z; P过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。1 j" T1 [$ L* {) z/ D* i: ?4 O
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。# x" X l# a# z
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”5 n6 t, S( `" M+ Y2 l
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”# Z, H+ {$ b- u9 Q% ?
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
7 ]2 L3 k9 Y2 N“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”8 h2 `! K# z9 {2 T3 x: I u
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊0 G8 S1 w7 ^3 B b; V6 y
; h% [' v2 s7 O% R9 S! D/ K; }4.刺激
: s9 o: p8 M- L$ o今天我走在街上，7 h; G$ W9 L; R
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺% _; i) \+ c) Q' g- W
，我心想完了。
2 L# J& L. i$ H. t过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。' k" r' S5 r9 x. v
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
" O9 }4 a2 h; f5 R尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！: p' F# c) d- G% L$ G3 x$ P
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
& o% I5 N2 A$ P, ?
8 @8 t$ H9 _0 P& @" v/ p9 L$ Z5.不加倍
) T/ o: `) E; F, C小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
; h& B" N. \+ d. M今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
2 \7 S/ I+ Z L, ?3 j' J% y老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
$ T8 |8 Q8 P0 ~% F1 s5 x; ]2 i" ^小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
) Y. ~+ n3 d5 U# w' [小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”/ I% T$ R7 c7 ~. l, {
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
0 l6 \( |$ {5 I; q& h$ [* Q* ^ |
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