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1.局花! e" C: O+ W0 e f' Y( }+ l' K
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，( O/ @3 q9 z6 E1 r& R! a/ T
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，4 v; c3 b: E6 a& v
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。7 d# b* X% s) Z/ Y, [; ^
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么; t: q# V. @+ A( E
9 G4 s: j/ [+ Q2.媳妇
; u0 N; i' p* _. B N10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。( H& w3 e+ B# e3 v7 h' R6 D+ Q
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
$ L! ~& Q! V! }4 T/ }谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
+ F7 \! g% I* ^( ?$ H; X* o+ g5 ?/ f. {评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
" j+ k3 d% i" P/ j2 @6 G/ |. o! d$ h1 h
3.倒贴5 {1 z4 r( n% l" v6 T s5 ]' @3 S
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。: a6 P4 T' j' x4 T, b# h2 u
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
7 h; h% B- l. G( w; c8 y老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
7 R, U2 E3 I2 u+ }* }老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”! j* D* X, {) O1 |5 R/ C
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，( G: {/ Y% Z: H5 Y& m* N
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”3 Q* P/ I0 g+ R- }; v
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊+ j2 H' a( \ g
* w- W6 R$ |# G
4.刺激
* o" I* c0 o" Y3 P; I4 l今天我走在街上，
2 I9 D# C' T# b" k% P9 L+ W% @对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺+ k8 [- u8 A2 W) x! g& n7 y
，我心想完了。
% f' N8 U; A+ b" C过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
: q$ S7 A) E8 C" o“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
, g$ ~- N7 u3 {. H- v尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！ B& U0 V2 q4 r' _4 O$ ^( L* n
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
5 ?6 Q# q0 y! \( d9 o& ]* e, f2 d8 n7 Z1 d7 a6 {1 U8 w! D
5.不加倍
" F3 e: t9 g% _( X7 Y% X小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，0 K v, @4 O" g4 z, I
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
; e: w, t. d( o/ P8 D3 K. a/ Y5 N老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
$ `: f9 a6 T/ o小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”! ?- a4 ]$ M2 k2 {' |
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
" G0 ^! \5 W) z' B* c- C# \评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的7 p% J7 L) ^% {/ o* N; h+ w
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