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1.局花2 o0 [1 W8 C! P! r6 f7 [( U. r
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，8 v3 i2 n$ c% c% g" M3 }- Y
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
% q; ?) |7 j. Z& A小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
* m) g! [$ n$ M评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
( S3 ?/ y2 h& n |; ~
# H! l/ w' ^' Z! [% p! [2.媳妇
! \8 V2 |% E5 Y3 P/ o! Z10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
Z) p, w& r* [ ^3 `: Q8 x他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
' I5 I' n* o5 Y2 A5 L+ a3 s, K1 ?谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
9 G( L* |1 e, R评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
' t" f! K3 |6 \" z0 i) y" C q# H7 w
) l6 \! z/ l' K+ ~5 E, d7 E2 \3.倒贴
' O: o5 d, j$ J4 X. E7 m U过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
6 a O1 E" h- a$ D# j0 r/ s$ f于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。0 c1 H$ N" K' O a! Z) e N
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
5 `5 e& C; I1 c6 X) }! H老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”3 D& O8 |+ ]4 [4 Y3 h! m
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上， |+ n5 q2 j x8 R* w
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
; d2 O6 F7 ` u% q: N评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊* A& ?- `8 M6 [
. [5 c N' u1 Y
4.刺激
- d& ~! v% K; l1 {* ?5 O' E今天我走在街上，
g& a. |+ L- e& n. t2 f对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
) {* V+ v4 W+ a- W，我心想完了。
) q% z2 l( d0 C+ a1 {/ S过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
! x7 g- o8 N6 o& o+ Z; d“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。/ |7 Y4 h7 r" D- U) _8 m a
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！# e. h& }( I* F; r! N& N- }. p) B
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
5 a$ `- Q0 y R1 i, V7 X+ @' `
\# `! [+ ^* g) ]5.不加倍6 A4 }6 U& H* O8 ~/ B6 I
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
6 P% g9 T( W6 V7 s, e# r今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。+ I0 e' I* y, L- B; R& s& t
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”, E7 Y4 j9 Y: o1 g
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”$ D' x6 \& O2 j/ Q$ S1 c# Z j
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
8 }; i: f4 c0 q8 v8 i" t评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的! m( D; t' G, d4 I6 u; C4 R/ [
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