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1.局花
y8 D7 q6 F2 ^% v9 i& ]局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，; e- {) q& r/ ^' Y% H2 |# B) k! ^
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，0 ]- \# V1 W( y2 V: f9 u
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。+ O- X4 x3 N/ v! M3 X
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么9 I/ D, c$ w s* G
" v+ A3 ]* t# r# P6 ?9 Y
2.媳妇
' W. r% v3 ], [10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
" X" B1 j6 @# N x* o他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”$ j4 Q% ~8 T1 [) L' p; {8 `% T/ _
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”0 K# J3 }( s/ n9 v
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
& D7 {8 _: w; h, r/ Z. Z8 M7 F. s
3.倒贴
. Q/ D+ _+ U/ G5 e: L6 u3 c过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。7 f4 b$ |8 z6 I M
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
9 Q+ ?* G: w: r0 F老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”2 E1 [) G2 Z9 q9 C0 x
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
I- V1 Y" }7 w$ T" e话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
0 h+ C9 \- b K/ n k3 x“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”) q! [7 T$ G+ K5 l$ Z
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊5 f1 _. |* }8 _# n; J9 |* N( o$ O- }
! j0 L1 I3 Z# \1 m S( Y
4.刺激5 l' V, \# X1 \; Z. Z% S- Q
今天我走在街上，
# c' E7 f" ]+ u" [( P1 B- G1 ^8 i g5 l对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺8 W& w" n: y4 _5 D
，我心想完了。
$ P7 E; F% J! s1 B k7 Y, K过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。 P* `5 }& B4 `
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
F# ~, m; ~+ y0 E9 [$ H( R0 u尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！! A) o' e( J9 m9 o% h8 L
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激4 z" L0 U" q$ s9 [/ M
, t2 i3 {7 O9 u: ?5.不加倍1 J" d* T; J, Y9 W+ F" J# T
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，! @9 g5 R6 ] X& p8 R
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
& N. J7 s6 U9 w( \1 Z老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”4 i [6 G% \* P0 y
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”1 J0 [: }4 x4 {
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”6 V! i. C0 A5 P
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的3 P- W9 q5 H# y3 P1 ?
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