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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
6 k# B7 ?/ S+ e+ \+ i6 j+ M) X1 K0 U3 ^' R- L
6 d! ~& C+ `. k6 X今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
* ^! ]1 g6 U2 z8 u我先来！
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" L& a- W7 M" NA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”; R {+ I- |; G1 n6 q7 h
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”3 B, q( K. G' b9 [- Q! A# [
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3 @3 {' U4 U4 ]6 K$ ^# w; w; P$ S3 H; Q深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
# D' A* b7 P2 j% S. R# p每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
$ c9 g6 P: q4 R8 @4 M弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
% {3 C+ ?* z1 s+ u所以非常受欢迎。: M0 I) o* g4 {5 t
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，: n: y0 h5 I7 E3 M7 _6 P% }% h
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”9 u2 G5 P8 Y; s2 Y/ k
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
7 P0 H* |' C3 D+ `% N0 N8 c! [) h回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' a& I; Z) q# |( p" h* n1 U; O有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！; d1 T% z! H" t" y
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
7 s6 C5 [- N% t) V5 C她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
( z1 N% t) v9 R生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
/ S; m4 V; ^' p3 A. W/ ^. O于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。, n( d/ P! h" ?0 P# ]) i0 q
小明：不行& S" D/ F2 f) Y r0 b% Y# Q
老师：為什麼？7 ?5 W1 a# B) \6 a
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
- G1 R$ l# [1 y' i, q( J' e小明：我是照你的话做的7 S, A9 k. ~3 F$ |; G( Z
妈妈：我说了什麼？
" B# }. Y) U. B! V; U小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
* D* |9 c) J- u3 T她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
+ ] o' B' G6 h3 M+ C3 m6 U就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
/ ~8 y; r" v% R小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？6 ^2 [, i5 T, Q; G+ u
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
`7 l/ u, ^9 H8 J; n& S% |' z小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！! m) L' }5 ~& |% Y* d7 Q
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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2 \! d* h9 |3 K. R( s1 N: O. r8 E' k* e2 D
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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