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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏,送来欢乐; c- V0 z6 F6 V- F! Z
3 [+ X: H' f& [( Q/ n+ |8 `6 S! U
$ h6 u9 L6 Y% v: H$ {今天是教师节,大家一起来发段子吧!
# r0 F) c8 u3 T# @我先来!
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A说:“今天考试我交了白卷。”B说:“哎,我也交了白卷。” A. A/ ~4 y3 m# P
同学A生气的说:“你怎么能交白卷呢,老师会以为我们抄袭的!”: ?' s; v& P |1 Y' i# H
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& A) D8 p$ T3 u, t. q深夜,王老师批改完最后一份试卷,疲惫地拧开了收音机,想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音:"xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听,感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年),使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这,王老师的眼睛湿润了,心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说:"……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌,李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"3 i; r# }2 n, h% y4 C: a
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说:“这是什么呀?”学生异口同声回答:“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长,校长一听大怒,跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说:“你们越来越不像话了,为什么又把老师气哭了?”回头看了一看“啊!还在黑板上画了个屁股!” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业,弟弟不动脑筋思考,
, t$ o% L% O! p4 M' a每道题都问妈妈,妈妈怒了:“你每道题都不会,干脆我帮你做算了!”0 K) [# V# ~3 @( U1 w$ G% T
弟弟淡淡地说:“不行!字迹不一样会被老师发现的!” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说:“老师,天气太热了,风扇都没风!”谁料老师说:“别急,等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教,由于年轻的男老师级少,8 v. K Z+ @* f1 n# q
所以非常受欢迎。3 S( P% s p1 K. N
第一堂课,有一位女学生忘记带课本,帅哥老师请她站起来,$ S' Z+ @5 D2 g( l
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说:“老师亲她一个!”! q; C9 D2 t$ F& d2 u! d
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼,9 P" J8 E- R- o2 l. }4 t7 W
回答:“不可以处罚老师!” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说: y& H! i$ d* o* w) |1 U, g
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子,我毫不客气,见一次抓一次,一抓就是一大把!!!
( L1 U' w' o" C! S5 I不知道是不是我的错,那个上课吃东西的学生,被我抓过几次,但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了,我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师,最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车,教练问:“为什么经常没来学车?”
2 J; _9 ] V. n7 c# V6 ]1 @她:“在学校都是我骂学生,来你这边老是被你骂,我很不爽!!!” <span] 上高中嘴馋,几个同学合计买烧烤吃,不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了,结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
8 K# W. u. S3 O. k/ W3 X8 J生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相,偶尔眼光一扫台下,竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。) R! D8 p$ f f% s' n
于是大为恼火,喝道:“你们要看着我啊!不看我,你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师:小明,你的美劳作品太好了,明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。/ o% i8 V3 A. H+ O+ W5 S& o
小明:不行) f5 l% t* K8 D& i% n* X
老师:為什麼?5 m- z' e! X8 m: @
小明:劳作是我爸做的,他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈:小明,你看,妹妹考100分,你才50分& e$ E q w$ g4 D
小明:我是照你的话做的
, C9 X* k5 a5 m/ M9 t妈妈:我说了什麼?# m% w4 r/ e! D2 t- Z! b. x6 b
小明:你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级,有次语文考试得了74分, b: [8 @/ f0 i. p/ e- @9 X# K
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气,/ g+ f9 ]/ P; `$ _- c
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师:“] 老师:现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做,会怎样?”: X3 {% c4 a# J. m! T
小明:有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问:麻麻,你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗?
2 t3 O+ W; P- z7 i妈妈说:是啊,为什么这么问?: L9 B/ h \' Y: r
小明沮丧着说:今天老师穿着超短裙来上课,我就夸老师,你的内裤好漂亮啊!+ L/ i! @: ~, q/ E% a3 A7 u
然后,老师就给我撵出去了!!! 5 i, E% o; k9 N
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面,一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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