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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐, b9 Y4 v; G( @
$ U8 x4 `- L% u, |5 |8 Z8 q% k6 L5 j, Y9 a+ T, Y6 o
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！0 k, u, A+ L+ S- g) t
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”$ h! q$ N9 t. h7 P9 r
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”4 U2 M7 m$ ~5 ~
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
: |4 x% l- h$ A# y( y v每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”9 ], w8 ^1 y2 C8 v4 W' Q
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，* `. s( r4 \" r N* @
所以非常受欢迎。
- H* c* K, Y) s4 a$ [5 B. w5 ]1 I第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
& d6 f% h5 E8 m$ T1 x4 m6 H6 g9 C问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
& Z+ F0 }7 x9 T' {4 i, t2 A大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，9 Z) m5 t* s7 W S+ V
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：/ }' K& h* X) k/ l- n* @3 |. x
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
?. {# f8 `0 Q: B% G" o不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？” f( V9 Z+ ~* z9 ?9 u
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪5 p# @! B( V4 U: V3 _4 ]" t* |
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。6 G, w' g- @# ]/ g
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。, E7 `# E: b$ `9 ?# Z
小明：不行
5 L* h1 d" K3 O! b, H老师：為什麼？
7 K+ p+ L1 Y# F: O$ u小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
5 I! R4 [& Y0 n1 L @# h小明：我是照你的话做的
$ ~ d* v0 J2 P6 @1 ~7 ]$ \% e妈妈：我说了什麼？/ e- w f& Z+ D
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，* U( T0 V" n |* R
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，$ r. r$ ?( A. Y9 Q5 H3 f
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”7 l: R' f6 H1 K1 G0 N% |* Q F
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
5 Q. H; v" \0 t妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？- e4 @( _4 p$ T2 s" g& v$ M% s0 \$ G
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！$ V( @' h8 I3 u: I9 w [! v3 F
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 2 ~* b5 N. H( H( b% l: ~, ~% j
9 ~% [* X4 e$ [# |5 Z# t: R2 X5 O; e0 o3 r" v. I
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。+ M4 x- z/ S! e# ~
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