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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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; \1 Q' h3 \. u; Y2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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5 W M1 S7 u3 J: L, V3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。+ B% {; Z& q$ _1 g
# k' Z, [% g7 Z6 T% M老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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0 q. i5 U/ o! V2 r( C) ]/ U笑死我了。。。
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1 x4 e7 O) u3 G2 s6 s: m4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,) v9 K* i) j9 X% x& v8 o% O- X1 L
$ g- Z5 P! b& P6 P$ n! S可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!# k, I) Y+ b9 [4 h
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,, Y9 |! j2 s6 S$ O# Y
* {: H4 k+ _0 f1 Z( I( i- G就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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8 X6 n! ~, g& W孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…) G6 ^+ L! T, C
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,7 `" O0 D4 l, q, P/ ~
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。 ^6 T' E8 o# a y; X/ A% ^6 E
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?. I. ^# L; i! Z3 x
[- _. B, ~2 Z. t# s我,无业闲人一个。 @0 C. g- u$ Y: D& y5 M: @9 V
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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i- ?- d3 B9 S/ Z5 r- d我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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