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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！" E# r. c5 B0 o1 H! Q3 @4 }% I
我先来！2 b( U9 @. s! D4 j
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5 Q# s) P0 \) L3 q; _0 UA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”' C$ ~9 [; I7 Z/ D% L( [& G) J8 B
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
" Y# y1 c" ~4 t1 I0 T( d9 _- _8 ^& R$ t7 u# ?" `" E4 m
+ m, ^6 h, l5 y1 O' y1 w2 G深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"1 t3 y6 B6 l7 p. S/ }
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，3 _8 |) I" C q# R
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”5 U2 e. p1 l" u$ c6 r9 f8 @/ ]$ B
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，! n1 S; n% p( U" v$ K
所以非常受欢迎。7 N1 \1 L, w; {" j: H! t% [) n
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，/ B) j3 \# ~8 r2 v1 ?6 }: F
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”, \' A2 d1 i/ Q& [
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
9 ~9 Q) y# K$ W, M回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：& \2 K! W9 E: R9 M
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
( Y; K! D; M2 u7 v2 Y不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”# {0 i7 t$ I6 Y `. Y$ s" }
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪( ?1 k. h p1 R5 l
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。7 Q( k+ i+ E& s; w, ~
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。4 { M5 d( q$ h$ h- U" [7 e, x
小明：不行
8 I) m$ E. t% v6 q4 Q老师：為什麼？. p" p. h) |& {
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分" Z) U/ b# K$ E s9 d
小明：我是照你的话做的
! Z8 b1 V" T* r0 Y/ d5 O妈妈：我说了什麼？
: {. z9 U# t% X/ T小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，9 |8 `+ \, o8 `3 c' @( I
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
0 x# a( J* o: s: D3 _就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”; I" R4 z% _4 k( G
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？' _5 g' A. w. E, z- y3 Q8 T
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？; z) ~/ n6 H! \. c, g
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！ @( Y2 ^4 s) I5 u
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 6 }! }9 x( U1 S2 L0 \
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6 h! y, r! i' ]9 ]* W大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。0 S; d% P+ F9 s, F/ W
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