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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”; }# I2 c/ r- K* v$ N! j; F
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2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”9 Q7 A; ? @5 h+ W# v; ]
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。: A) n% x/ f. _$ X5 t. n8 G; q
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老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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5 J V! n% a" }( ]9 X/ y女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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0 \& r P! z. I. i C笑死我了。。。7 h8 K* G" |( r/ a& y! r5 a
5 ~# F" z A y6 Y& Y4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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& s3 q% _4 p* y# t. U可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!$ z, A3 M s# I: T) b, Y, z
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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* L. k1 p& D; I! z晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,0 d( j) i* c! i0 u
, q4 l, D, f! ^% t就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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/ O j" U. S9 N4 f! h孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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" S. L* V7 g8 T4 \ h8 `9 P5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,. A2 B6 M2 J o* _4 N+ Z+ ^
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我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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" O+ l8 Y7 ^: O4 P1 |' b% n* `7 @: K一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?0 V% }' Q& \' _
. r2 f! Q! W _, w& R/ R* A我,无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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( e4 @4 K& B. b- ~& R; L2 s我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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" f/ q2 B* u* [% b2 p6 r" F女:滚她妈犊子,滚…# H/ F0 H* ~7 y" h. |
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当前离线
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