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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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% m4 Z; c! _! z: T. t& t0 z今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！7 s3 U- |5 w z; {% K6 x
我先来！* L- \- P+ q2 `# R- ]6 u
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2 ?# t# Z0 t" ^" Z; @, g, UA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”# a, x2 _% i9 r& f: `
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！” n- D5 n# {8 }: S5 B
1 @& @5 r* s9 s. j- Y8 W, Q0 @( a9 V2 [; @* I
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"- \7 S; ] V. T7 s
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，+ |# V7 j- U: Q) P
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
( f. A: R1 L! C弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
6 y1 B$ Q' r& Q% i1 r) b所以非常受欢迎。
1 H n4 }+ |& u" P+ _第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，0 A. J+ g' a' a# _
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
- @2 o. u4 A6 d, I! F/ o4 T7 K0 [大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，% s! S# n- ^( u. G# T+ a; m
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：9 T# m$ h( ^6 r# D$ ]
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
# h5 P3 u) ]- A: I% w" g不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
% u. T& W- D3 U z" b她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪9 X9 ^& z. e4 Z9 Q6 \* L5 W7 R
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
! j2 a# b6 W, m- C' a8 h于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。9 F; U5 t& d. z8 q2 I+ C) g; s7 \
小明：不行4 Y# u! K$ `$ y+ J# `
老师：為什麼？
3 m8 {; N8 }% ^1 Y9 p$ u0 y0 o7 V+ L小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
- F; A, [( a A小明：我是照你的话做的
9 c# w! ?3 e; r5 O9 t- u% c& S妈妈：我说了什麼？
a7 O" u0 u* I1 o+ w小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
+ R# U9 h. l$ X ?. b她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气， c6 R& N# C/ O' n1 C: j6 n5 i
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”" m; a" U7 O) V, @2 `9 l
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
; P) N$ w* E* B4 G3 F" _! O; L/ T妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
# f2 f' [- P" n& `, l4 I5 e( G R小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！+ T3 [6 s! M9 [( b
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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; V! y. q8 d- x O" |( K大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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