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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”1 A$ i1 ~& r, v2 X: r* n1 v. n
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
1 n5 j. u+ S& x/ U( g
( d: r- c. S' Z* {9 b J4 R% n3 m7 l男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。! {- o- M9 o1 n
3 ^5 I8 |$ J \) e: q老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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1 W, G) {% N* X) p7 j* `$ E h女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。& R3 O/ S# s, O" j! m
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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( @$ x! A2 Q/ ^; `7 d% f2 v可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，3 f6 `0 i- R, D3 b9 m7 e
* F% R4 c" _) I7 z8 d& e我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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1 ]8 ^8 G/ m0 u1 b; a; K; r* {她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!! {/ i, x% I @# F/ V1 O
# b d* n9 E7 ~$ M
晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”$ G! ^! h" j: i1 V+ j/ O7 E2 |3 q+ B
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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4 _% S# U& x) H% o5 b孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
3 F6 y7 }, x3 r' d: F
* O& _$ P# n; w1 Y+ m0 N我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！" W8 Z5 U4 y5 c2 a& X# q2 d8 U& v
0 A4 O6 L% [0 I4 b$ p* n( u一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。8 _, u* D/ t) D# [% N/ {
/ T% ?6 T7 ]1 x当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？5 r% g9 N" A/ }) T- C; O
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我，无业闲人一个。9 v0 W' k- X. h3 B( [2 c/ f: ~
% r+ {+ w$ I7 Q( e: V0 }# m. V女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？) b% W; h: e3 {: e- I4 Y
% }8 G( s& b- j我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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